Humans, since childhood, are people looking for patterns. In an unhealthy family environment, there are chances that one gets mentally tired and watching all the violence and anger gets into the system and vents out in one way or another. While most people start to stay upset most of the time which ultimately leads them to be destructive.
From waiting in long lines to driving through endless traffic, and to hearing snide remarks from co-workers, well, a normal corporate worker goes through all this in a day and not for one time but every day. Letting the anger simmer and having the rage outburst leads to hurting both the personal and professional relationships does good for no one.
Most of us have tried to cope up with life and try to try to avoid things till we lose it and finally vent out while a big family argument or traffic jam with all of our frustration and negative energy. While getting angry on a normal basis can be a response to the stress we are dealing with on a daily basis.
Rather than experiencing from a daily dose of high blood pressure and anxiety, learning the art of managing and channelling your anger constructively will eventually make you feel healthy. Now, there are a few things you can do internally to train your brain and get out of anger and then there are things that you can try by moving externally. Let's get started:
Take deep breaths: Felling all that pressure build-up and realise via negative words for your friends, relatives, co-workers, whoever they are, is hard to handle sometimes. While you are in the anger mood, you are eventually overlooking your breathing.
A conscious effort to identify the shallow breathing you are doing when you are angry and take a minute to combat this. Start with taking slow, controlled breaths you inhale from your belly rather than your chest allowing your body to instantly calm itself.
A quick simple breathing exercise to keep in your back pocket: Start with finding a place to comfortably sit allowing your neck and shoulders to fully relax.
Take a deep breath from the nose and pay attention to your tummy rising. Exhale through your mouth and repeat this exercise 3 times a day for 5 to 10 minutes or as needed.
Recite a comforting mantra: There are some phrases that are close to us and repeating a calming phrase like such eventually makes it easier to express difficult emotions, including anger and frustration.
Next time, when you are in a situation of frustration and anger, try slowly repeating the mantra that makes you feel better, it can be a phrase related to your religion that makes you relax or just "Take it easy," or "Everything's going to be okay," the next time you're feeling overwhelmed by a situation.
This can be done out loud if you want, but you can also say it under your breath or in your head. Since all of us, today is subconsciously looking towards our phones while at work. Having these phrases on your phone for a quick reminder before a stressful work presentation or challenging meeting is really helpful.
Try visualization: Most of the times, the external environment is more powerful and causes trouble than are an internal environment where we are in control. Again, it's about making a conscious effort to find your happy place in the midst of a flight delay or work setback can help you feel more relaxed in the moment.
While you are mentally trying to fight with your boiling anxiety and stress, try painting an image of calm soul and body and brain. Allow your brain to think about a real or imaginary picture which makes you feel safe and happy. It can be a beach you spent a holiday last time or a view from a mountain you wish to see. While doing the same, use your sensory details to envision yourself there, in that environment, with those smells, sights and sounds.
A constant awareness about the breathing and keeping this image in your mind will make you feel relaxed and your anxiety to lift.
Check your perspective: Our mind is somewhere trained to protect yourself in every situation and sometimes amidst all the anger and high stress, it tends to wrap our perception different than the reality.
In such a situation, when you feel the world is there to the only attack at you and you are boiling with anger. Stop. Check your perspective. How do you do that?
Well, everyone has bad days from time to time, it is never the end of the world. Each day is a new opportunity you need to grasp and even if you don't. Next day is a new start.
Express your frustration: Anger is not the immediate response we have to all our problems, it usually is a result of the built-up frustration. Angry outbursts are not going to help you in any way but it does not mean that one cannot have a chance to vent out all their frustrations.
Have a person you can trust to sit with you, be it your friend or family and let them know what you are thinking. What is making you feel sad allowing yourself space to express some of your anger prevents it from bubbling up inside.
Change your surroundings: Sometimes, a stressful situation is due to the office environment or the tense drawing room with all the relatives, getting yourself a break is a good decision. Many times, you can have some personal time from your surroundings. If you are at home which is messed, well, go and take a walk or a long drive. It will allow you to have a comeback and be more equipped and sort the things out when you return.
Recognize triggers and find alternatives: There are many things or people that can lead to creating a ball of rage and frustration, try finding an alternative option to avoid those people and situation.
If you are at home, where you feel that you will eventually get angry, well, pick your earphone and avoid or at a workplace you have got a co-worker who constantly taps their foot, looks into some noise-cancelling headphones.
The idea behind all these tricks is to understand who or what is triggering your anxiety and anger, pinpoint those elements and be aware of what they are. Take some steps to avoid falling prey to them. Take some time to remind yourself to take a moment the next time you feel angry. Utilise this time to take stock of what happened in the moments leading up to your feelings of anger and what are your feelings leading up to that moment?